This is the final blog post of a 3-part series. Read previous blogs at www.synfiniworks.com/blog.
If you live in a “disempowering and unforgiving” neighbourhood, you need to ask yourself
“How is this serving me?”
We hold onto these thoughts because they serve a purpose. Perhaps, it motivates you to prove to yourself that you can do more. Or maybe these tapes are unconsciously hijacking your mind like an unwanted tenant.
Once we notice the frequency of these types of thoughts, you want to examine its source. There are few possible culprits:
- Our formative years- ingrained beliefs and expectations taught by our caregivers or early influences
- Your current influences - who may indirectly or directly project their beliefs onto you. For instance, if you manage people and you are stressed about lack of time, your team will likely feel the impact. Some of us get irritable and moody expressing our displeasure externally or some of us might hold it inside and become withdrawn with increased anxiety and physical tension.
- Our societal norms – representing a lack of boundaries between our personal and professional lives and our obsession with smartphones can cause confusion around how we prioritize and use our time.
Which of these sources has the most impact or pull on you?
When you build awareness around the source of these beliefs and begin to notice their frequency, you can start to better manage your emotions which stem from these disempowering and unforgiving thoughts.
Just like we protect our property from bulgars with alarm systems and guard dogs, you need to do the same with your mind.
Here’s my top tips for you:
Keep the Bulgars Out
If you notice an increased frequency of negative thoughts as a result of being around certain individuals, consider what boundaries you need to create around them. If you notice their comments or put downs make you feel unheard or misunderstood, then speak up or limit your interaction.
Take Reasonable Action
If the constant tape is “I don’t have enough time” ask yourself these questions:
- What tasks are required to complete this piece of work?
- How much time will each task take?
- What promises have I made around completion? Is this negotiable?
Once you have a better sense of the time frame, schedule the smaller tasks into your calendar and follow through.
Reframe your Thoughts
Since you have assess the job requirements more closely and set a realistic schedule, you can reframe this disempowering thought of “I don’t have time” into
“I am creating space to complete this task.” Or “I have control over my time.”
And notice how it makes you feel since the Action steps you have taken should be congruent with your reframed thought.
Rinse and Repeat
Sounds easy but we know it takes time to start a new behaviour. The moment you get sucked back into that old familiar neighbourhood, notice what thoughts are dominating, who’s around and what’s needed to get back on track?
Drop me a comment and let me know what tips or strategies help you get back on track?